Here in the Lookers marketing team we love a goody bag. Well, to be honest we like anything that’s going for free. But when random gifts are put into a bag, we get a bit excited. Which is why our minds were promptly blown when we heard what this year’s Oscar nominees would be getting in their goody bags next Sunday.
None of your shampoo samples, pens, leaflets and highly disappointing muesli bars here, no no no, Hollywood’s beautiful people will be getting something a little more ostentatious.
So, what are the highlights of this £200k mix-up?
Vampire Breast Lift (£1,325)
How about a Vampire Breast Lift? When I first heard about this I did wonder what a Vampire would get out of a breast lift, particularly as they spend so much time in their coffins and are presumably too busy drinking the blood of virgins at night to be hitting the town to show off their new rack. Then again I don’t get out much these days.
No silly. I jest of course. It’s actually a procedure that costs £1,325 and, guess what, Kim Kardashian’s had a Vampire Face Lift. Of course she has.
Joseph’s Toiletries Toilet Paper (£192)
There’s also some toilet paper in there costing £192, that’s Joseph’s Toiletries Toilet Paper mind, not a 6 for 4 pack of Andrex Balsam. This stuff is made from 100% tender virgin new-growth cellulose fibres and provides ‘profound softness’. That’s ‘PROFOUND’ softness. Toilet paper so soft that when you wipe your bum with it you’re left with a sense of profundity. By the way the word ‘bum’ is not mentioned on the Joseph’s Toiletries website.
Japanese Blisters (£37,671)
Fancy a 15-day tour of Japan costing £37,671? Well, it’s always been a dream of mine to go to Japan, I’m just not sure I’ve seen many A-listers do much walking that’s all, let alone walk across Japan for 15 days. If they do though they can at least take advantage of the Dandi Patch underarm sweat solution (£15) that’s also in the bag. Urgh. Though it may have more immediate uses for Jennifer Lawrence, Kristen Wiig and the like if they get a sweat on in their Gucci dresses while walking down the red carpet. #nopatchesforthepaps
Things turn even more diva-esque with the My M&Ms, which are personalised for each celeb. Just as long as Elton doesn’t get any brown ones or else someone’s going to get fired.
Nuelle Fiera Arouser (Sex Toy)
In case Sylvester Stallone gets bored during the lengthy acceptance speeches presumably.
Like I say we love a goody bag here at Lookers. So much so that we can often be found handing out our own goody bags as part of our #Enjoyrewards giveaways every Friday on Social Media. In fact you can get your hands on Lookers goody bag as part of this week’s haul. Simply follow us on Facebook or Twitter for more details.
And while we won’t be giving away boob jobs and holidays to Japan, you’ll find some pens, a Dunlop Mug and a Pirelli cap. There’s also a Dunlop ice scraper, because everyone has to de-ice their cars right? Though you’ll be hard pressed to see a celebrity doing so on the internet. I should know, I spent nearly a whole afternoon trying to find one. Busy day.
Leonardo DiCaprio really wants an Oscar
As far as the Oscars themselves go, everyone’s hoping that Leonardo DiCaprio wins Best Actor after consecutive snubbings over recent years, despite some pretty Titanic leading roles (boom boom).
Well, you can give Leo a bit of a helping hand in this little game, Leo’s Red Carpet Rampage, where you can race against the likes of Michael Fassbender as Steve Jobs and Eddie Redmayne as the Danish Girl for the golden statuette, while dodging the paparazzi and an upstaging Lady Gaga. Yeah, it’s real. Check it out here.